Vary
your sentence structure - Nothing
seems more unsophisticated than an uninterrupted succession
of subject-verb constructions. Take a series of sentences
like the following as an example: "Moby Dick
can symbolize both a manifestation of God or of the ultimate
evil.”. Here are just a few of the variations you
can make:
-
Melville
renders Moby Dick as simultaneously a manifestation
of God and as a symbol of the ultimate evil.
-
That
Moby Dick is subject to a dichotomy of interpretations
is evident in his depiction as both a manifestation
of God and of the ultimate evil.
-
We
may intimate that Moby Dick is a juxtaposition of both
the divine and the diabolical.
Combine short sentences
- Try reading your paper out loud. If it seems choppy
it can likely be remedied by your grouping short sentences
into longer, more complex ones. For example:
"Gatsby’s
obsession with Daisy has deeper implications. He becomes
obsessed with escaping his own past."
This
would be much stronger if combined:
"Gatsby's
obsession with Daisy eventually translates into a yearning
to escape his own past."
Don’t
use passive voice - Plain
and simple. It makes your writing weak.
Bad: "This
fact was proven by Napoleons subsequent actions."
Good: "Napoleon
proved this fact through his subsequent actions." The
object of the sentence should never be turned into
the subject.
Maintain consistency in tense
- Don't drift from the present to the past to the
conditional (from "he is" to "he was" to "he
would have").
Some things to avoid wherever possible:
-
Starting
a sentence with "there are" or "there
were".
-
Using
the phrase "this shows" (as a substitute
say "evident in this fact is" or "This
interpretation belies the idea that").
-
Using
the word "quotation" when incorporating
a direct quote. This makes for an awkward break from
your natural thoughts, and creates an aura of self-consciousness
in your writing.
-
Exclamation
points.
-
The
first person or second person tense. Sometimes using
the first person plural (as in the previous example
of "we may intimate") is generally acceptable,
in that it conveys a universality that the "I" or "you" voices
preclude.
-
Confusing
commas and semi-colons. A semi-colon can be used to
connect two short, related sentences into a longer
one: ”Trench warfare became standard during World
War One; it was used in all the major confrontations.".
A comma cannot be used in this way.
-
Confusing "who" and "whom";
the former is a subject, the latter an object.
-
Broad,
non-specific words like "good," "bad," "nice," "important," "vivid," and "thing".
If those are the only words you can use to express
what you're saying, it's likely not subtle enough to
make for a very good argument.
