Lesson
Two: Contribution and Diversity
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Contribution
and Diversity
Your
background, experiences, and values will enhance and
diversify Kellogg. How? (1-2 double-spaced pages)
The
Darden School seeks a diverse and unique entering class
of future managers. How will your distinctiveness enrich
our learning environment and enhance your prospects
for success as a manager?
Every
essay question on the admissions application is geared
toward the same thing. Committee members want to find out
who you are, what makes you different from everyone else,
and how you will contribute to the school if accepted.
This question asks these things outright. Because it asks
so directly what the admissions committee wants to know,
this is one of the most common questions you will find.
The question has a structure similar to the Why M.B.A.?
question. It asks both Why us? and Why you? However, the
nature of this question lends itself to a more personal
response. Whereas the Why M.B.A.? question asks what you
have done, what you want to do, and how that relates to
the school, this question asks about who you are and how
it relates to the school. The Why M.B.A.? question asks
about your experiences, and this question asks about your
qualities.
Just
as you brainstormed about your experiences, actions, and
goals for the first question, brainstorm about your qualities
and characteristics for this one. What sets you apart from
everyone else? What words do friends and family use to
describe you? For some people, the focus of this question
will come easily. A minority can choose to focus on their
racial or ethnic differences. A person with an unusual
professional background may use this question to turn this
potential weakness into a strength. Anyone with a particular
talent or calling, such as an athlete or a musician, can
use that as a topic. Less obvious characteristics can work
just as well. Are you one of those people who are forever
getting tagged with an identity? Do people say, “You know
Chuck, the funny one,” or “There’s Jane, the history buff.”
If you
consider yourself to be a fairly typical candidate with
a broad range of interests, you may feel nervous about
not being able to identify yourself with any one particular
activity or defining trait. You should not be worried.
Listing the combination of qualities that make you unique
is perfectly acceptable. None of your qualities has to
be particularly unique by itself-whatever is real and true
will work perfectly. What words do people use to describe
you? Are you a risk taker? An academic? A leader? Unusually
goal oriented? Dedicated? Ethical? A good team player?
The qualities
you choose to describe are not nearly as important as how
well you back them up. Because this answer tends to contain
many adjectives, you absolutely must provide solid examples
demonstrating each quality you have listed. You can take
examples from either your work or your personal life. You
can even be creative and take an example from your childhood,
if you wish, as long as whatever you choose effectively
proves that you are what you say you are.
Because
this question asks “How will you contribute to our school?” it
provides you with a perfect opportunity to prove that you
have researched and targeted yourself to the particular
school. Match your distinctiveness in whatever way is natural
to the distinctiveness of the program. Show the admissions
committee that you are not just perfect for business school
in general, you are perfect for their business school.
SAMPLE
ESSAY:
Note:
This essay appears unedited for instructional purposes.
Essays edited by EssayEdge are substantially improved.
For samples of EssayEdge editing, please click
here.
Your
background, experiences, and values will enhance
the diversity of Kellogg’s student body. How?
During
my senior year in college, my father was diagnosed
with terminal skin cancer. Like most cancer patients,
he spent the majority of his time in the hospital;
he often spoke of how nice the staff was, and how much
his stay was enriched by the services offered by the
volunteers. I felt a great debt to those people who
helped my father and mother during that difficult time,
and I wanted to do the same for other people in similar
situations.
When
I moved to New York after graduation, I decided to
volunteer at the Sloan-Kettering Memorial Hospital
until I found a job. Over the next few months, I worked
thirty hours a week helping patients and their families.
One of the most rewarding experiences at the hospital
was organizing patient voting for the 1992 Presidential
election. I was responsible for coordinating the procurement
and distribution of absentee ballots with nurses, patients,
hospital staff, and the various voting administrations
within the five boroughs of New York City.
The
response was overwhelming. The patients were overjoyed
to be included in the voting process. I knew from my
father that the most demoralizing circumstance of a
prolonged hospital stay was the feeling that the world
was passing you by. On that November day, however,
I was able to help those patients feel like part of
society again. I will always be grateful for that.
Once
I found a job, I had to curtail my hours at the hospital,
but I did not stop my volunteer work. And although
my job prohibits me from volunteering as much as I’d
like, I still try to find the time. My volunteer work
has allowed me to help others cope with the terrible
pain of illness, which I have experienced first-hand
and through my family. The satisfaction that I gain
when I help patients and their families is unlike any
other feeling I have ever had in my life.
I’ve
found that my work also helps me to deal with and accept
the loss of my own father. If it were not for him,
I never would have started volunteering. The good work
I do is a constant tribute to his memory.
As
an individual, I have learned the benefits of altruism,
and I firmly believe that companies should also take
an active role in philanthropy. I was pleased to see
in the admissions brochure that other Kellogg students
feel the same, as demonstrated by their Business with
a Heart program. I know that my unique perspective
and experiences would contribute to this group, and
enable me to enrich the lives of the community as well
as those of my fellow students.
COMMENTS:
This
essayist is a good example of someone who chose to
focus on one trait rather than several. By choosing
only one quality, her essay is concise, to the point,
and easy to read. She also leaves a strong impression
by introducing only one theme. This essay is particularly
strong because the writer does not simply label herself
as a volunteer and leave it at that. She makes the
topic personal. First, she walks us through her motivation,
then through the experience itself, and finally through
how it has affected her and made her different. She
gives details to bring each of these steps alive but
manages to do so in a very short amount of space. She
even specifically details how this experience will
help her contribute by listing the name of the program
she has targeted.
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